, ,

So I have some news.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you probably know a few key things about me. I love to discuss bodily fluids. I am a die-hard shopping cart returner. I am nitpicky about grammar and spelling but always manage to insert typos into my Facebook statuses. I love Harry Potter and The X-Files. My musical taste hasn’t changed since 1996. I am the mother of two children, and a two-child family has always been my plan. (See “Finding out the Sex of my Last Baby” and “What I Really Think About Your Big Family.”)

So I would not be surprised if you were surprised to find out that a while ago, my husband and I decided we wanted one more child. I never once mentioned it on my blog or social media because I didn’t know if it would happen and because I felt like keeping this one little personal detail to myself since really, I have committed 99% of my life to virtual paper.

A couple of weeks ago when I found out I was pregnant, I was eager to find a cute way to share the news with you all, and I was prepared for many readers to wonder if this pregnancy was a surprise, given my past commitment to two children only. Then I started barfing all the time and didn’t have the energy for more than the bare minimum in terms of blog and social media maintenance. Plus, I started getting nervous. Was I crazy to want to add a third child to our already perfect little unit? How was I going to get through the puking and the exhaustion and still look after my current children? On top of the excruciating feeling of being constantly hungry but also wanting to puke, I was getting really anxious. As the Diclectin kicked in and I felt better able to focus, I started to get excited about the pregnancy.

At 8 weeks, Papa Wolf, Cub and I went in for our dating ultrasound. Cub’s super-curious about pregnancy, and I was happy to bring him along while his sister went to daycare alone. We read a book the previous night about conception, gestation and birth, so he was totally primed. My husband and I felt pretty ho-hum about the affair: after all, this ain’t our first rodeo.

The cold gel spread out on my very slight bump, unidentifiable shapes appeared on the screen in front of us. Without someone pointing specifically to what I’m looking at, an ultrasound image is pretty unreadable to me, but something looked weird … as my husband would later tell it, we saw two cavities with two little beans in them.

“So that’s one heartbeat, and that’s the second heartbeat.”

Oh to have been a fly on the wall to capture the expressions on our faces.


Let’s flashback to how nervous I had been feeling about adding a third child to our family. Let’s flashback to the entire blog post I dedicated to extolling the virtues of large families and how I knew I would never be equipped to mother a large brood. Flashback to how we’d figured out how to safely fit three seats in the back seat of our Elantra Touring so we could have longer to save for a minivan. Flashback to how I always thought twins happened to other people … not to me!


There was a lot of laughter from my husband and me, and Cub was not quite sure what to make of it. When I explained to the technician that we also had a toddler, she understood why we seemed so panicked about a double-whammy pregnancy! Four kids under 5 is … a lot of kids. So many kids that I initially typed “three kids under 5” and then had to check my math. (For the record, Cub will be over 5 once the twins arrive, but four kids under 5 sounds more dramatic.)

So, this was a planned pregnancy with a surprise twist. We are now the family I used to chuckle at—that naïve family that wanted just one more kid and wound up with twins. (Thank goodness it’s not triplets!)

Now I realize that it is amazing to be having twins. It’s wonderful. I know lots of families who dream of having twins. (Well, I do now because many people tell me so once I announce my news.) But I am not going to sugar-coat this. We were done at two, and then we were definitely planning to be done at three. Four kids is going to be a logistical nightmare, which we admittedly feel ill-equipped to face. We have fears about the finances: we need double everything. Daycare is expensive. Food is expensive. Disneyland is not likely to happen. In fact, flying anywhere is not likely to happen … I get overwhelmed at times by the emotional and physical demands of mothering two. I can’t imagine four.

My biggest fear of all is my own well-being. I know my kids will be fine: they’re resilient. During each of my pregnancies, I’ve worried that I’ll suffer extreme post-partum depression or anxiety. I continued taking anti-depressants throughout my pregnancies without issue, and my anxiety flare-ups since having kids have been negligible at best. But my biggest fear is fear itself: the fear of being anxious when I have not two, not three but four little people depending on me.

Objectively, I know we’re going to be okay. And I am also conscious of the fact that if I found out tomorrow that the ultrasound was wrong, that there was only one baby in there, part of me would be disappointed.

I have always revered mothers with more kids than they have hands, and it’s really hard to believe that by next spring I will be one of them. It’s going to be an adventure. This is uncharted territory. Hopefully I’ll be ready for whatever turns are in the road ahead.

37 responses to “So I have some news.”

  1. Tamy

    Congratulations!! You’re brave to even think of a third! Twins are cute together!! You’ll do fine! The two cubs will help 🙂 (you see how positive I wish you to be, but suck at words lol)

  2. Congratulations!!! These babies are so lucky they were given you as a mother!!

  3. Elishia Cowell

    Congratulations Lindsey! I’m so excited for you and your family!!!

  4. Erin

    Congratulations!!! This is such wonderful news. My biggest piece of advice…hire a postpartum doula for the first little bit and lots and lots and LOTS of freezer meals amd snacks in the freezer before babies come!

  5. psychsarah

    Wow! Congrats! That is quite the surprise. My good friend had a very similar scenario (and her 4 year old turned 5 a few months after the twins were born, so it was 4 under 5!). The twins are now 3 and everyone is thriving. 🙂 Best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!

  6. Tiffany

    Congratulations!!!! <3 wow just reading your post my eyes were wide open when you mentioned twins! Lol Best of luck to you momma and a healthy pregnancy! <3

  7. Congratulations!!!! How exciting. As a twin momma it is truly remarkable to raise twins and see their unique perspective on the world. Get ready for a whole new adventure! You’ve got this!

  8. Congratulations!! You can do it!! My oldest was 5 when my youngest was born. No twins but 4 under 5! Lots of acting as a human pillow and giving into the fact that some days my main task was just to hold and snuggle kids allll day 🙂

  9. Sheri

    Take a deep breathe….. same thing happened to me with the exception of it being our second child (and third it turns out), with another at home that was only 18 months old when the twins made their arrival. Take lots of photos and videos that first year, it’s a blur. Take any help offered! I have just realized “I made it” as my boys started Kindergarten yesterday! We are all still standing!

  10. Chantalle

    First off Congrats! Secondly this was my family, done at 2, finally decided for 3 and wound up with twin girls. It’s a rollercoaster for sure but Calgary has some amazing multiples support! You can do this!

  11. Woo hoo! This sounds similar to when I FOUND OUT I was having twins 🙂
    I had my son with me, my husband was running late from work and I looked over to the screen and saw to little beans and I was like “WAIT! Why is there 2?!?!” LOL…..

    Congrats. Twins is a crazy, wonderful ride and when you hold them both in your arms you won’t believe how much love we are capable of feeling. it’s truly amazing. Mine just started JK! xoox

  12. Brittany P

    Congratulations! I’m sure it’ll be wonderful! And crazy, and exhausting, but always wonderful!

  13. Knittinchick

    Congratulations! You are already an awesome momma and you will rock this out!

    Good thing you have such a stash of cloth diapers… They will get a nice workout!

  14. Diana

    Congratulations!! This speaks to me so much. I have a boy and a girl and thought I was definitely done. Lately, I have been really feeling like I need one more. I also suffer from anxiety and depression, so I have a strong fear of ppd/ppa. I feel so excited for you! I guess the universe decided you were meant to be a mom of a big family. Side note, I know you were previously a teacher, I am wondering if you ever thought about homeschooling your kids. My kids aren’t school age yet, but I always wonder what teachers think of homeschooling.

    1. Lindsay

      I think homeschooling is great if it works for your family. I couldn’t teach my own children, not in a million years!

  15. Fleur

    Oh my !!!
    As I was reading I felt the suspense going up so I was thinking to myself:can it be twins?
    Wow it’s so scary and wonderful and amazing at the same time.
    Now you really have a meute of wolves 🐺.
    You’ll make a great pack leader for sure. After all you are already leading a pack of mom wolves. Also good thing that you are not too far from your mom! 🙂

  16. Delray

    That is Amazing news. I wish you a wonderful pregnancy. and yes I am going to say it….SLEEP as much as you possibly can now.

  17. Jonnie

    Oh wow, what a blessing! This must be such an exciting time for your family. Congratulations!

  18. Melissa O

    Congrats MamanLoup! You’re gonna rock this!! Can’t wait to read about your twin adventures. 🙂

  19. Lara

    Sending you so much love. While I don’t have twins, my girls are only 14 months apart. I had a terrible time with both of them, but going back to my state of mind when I found out just 4 months after a traumatic delivery and a (very) colicky baby that I was pregnant again, I cried for three days. Honestly, I cried multiple times a day for that entire pregnancy. I had no idea how I was going to do it. I hadn’t planned on having another so soon, and I was devastated. People kept telling me things like “God wouldn’t give you anything you couldn’t handle”, which didn’t help. And at first, yes, it was challenging. My second also had horrific colic and breastfeeding was a struggle with both (more so with the first though, in my opinion, due to an old school maternity nurse that jammed a bottle in my baby’s mouth before I even left the hospital – I wouldn’t let that happen the second time around). Anyway, now a few years later, I love it when we have snuggle time and I have one child snuggling under each arm (expand that to your husband and there’s still room for everyone <3 ) and I wouldn't change it for the world. So much so, that if we had any more children, I would want either twins or two close together like our first two.

    I know your situation is not the same as mine, but what I'm trying to say is have faith in yourself, and enjoy the experience. When it gets hard, remind yourself of the timeless phrase "this too shall pass".

  20. Congratulations!! Twins! That’s so exciting, and I’m sure overwhelming.

  21. Camille W

    Such wonderful news!! I’m really excited to follow along with you on this next part of your family’s journey.

  22. Doriana Hutton

    Wow! What a plot twist there!! I almost dropped my phone. So very happy for you, congratulations x2!!!

  23. Aww, congratulations! When we were doing IVF I said I wanted twins (two for the price of one – literally!) but I changed my mind once I had my one single sweet boy. And he was a pretty easy baby, but I still don’t know how twin moms manage! Make sure you ask for help, and take advantage of any that is offered 😉 All the best!

  24. Briana

    Congratulations! You’re a mom, you will be great. We always figure things out. 🙂

  25. Kerry

    Congratulations! What exciting news! I’m so glad I happened to stop by your blog today! 😀 You will be great, I’m sure of it.

  26. Jenna D

    OH my goodness, Lindsay!! AWESOME!

    My mouth dropped open when I read twins, so I can imagine your utter shock at your appt! I totally understand you when you say that it sounds like a story that happens to ‘other people’, ha ha. Twins run in the family on my mother’s side, so I was irrationally anxious about the possibility of twins going into my sonogram 😉
    Fantastic news – congratulations!

  27. kathy downey

    Congratulations,i’m so excited for the whole family !!

  28. Kristy

    Congrats and welcome to the MoM (moms of multiples) club! You are in for a wild ride! But it’s pretty awesome. I found out I was having twins on April Fools Day. I didn’t think it was a very funny joke. Turned out not to be a joke. My b/g twins are about to turn 3. Their older sister was just 2 and half when they were born. I had 3 under 3. You’ve got this! Feel free to send me any questions.

  29. Elizabeth Matthiesen

    What marvellous news, I’m so happy for you. I must say that the more children you have the easier I find it. At some point the older ones can help out more with the little ones. Twins, lovely. I’m twin myself and I can say that twins are very close. The only problem is that others tend to only think of you as one half of a whole. If I met a friend on the street they always, always asked where the other twin was. LOL

  30. Alyssandra Church

    Congratulations. We are 11 weeks pregnant with our second baby which is also our rainbow. We took our 2 year old to our u/s and she loved it now she’s always patting my tummy and saying baby in mummys tumty. (Tummy) 🙂 hope you have a very uneventful pregnancy and no complications always hope for the best.

  31. Maeve Russell

    Congratulations! That sounds so exciting and overwhelming. You’ve got this! I’m in Calgary and happy to help in any way I can.

  32. Jillary

    Ok omg, this blog was a bit of a reality slap in the face for me and it was also encouraging. Why? Because I currently have 5 children which 3 of them are under 5. We are contemplating having a 6th one but twins! Your honesty about your fears and everything we’re a reality slap in the face for me because I hadn’t thought about some of those things and quite honestly I share the same fears now. Can I handle twins along with my already 3 toddlers while my husband is at work all day? My anxiety, my moments of omg I need a bathroom break to pull myself together so I don’t not have a meltdown of tears in front of my children because they are arguing, and my twin babies are screaming for the fifteenth time in 4hours and I am functioning on decaf coffee because I’m breastfeeding and can’t have caffeine and 2hrs sleep. I’m not gonna lie I’m already terrified. But on the other hand, it’s encouraging because I think, this is a once in a lifetime experience for me if I had twins but the thought of having another baby is so exciting and it’s a decision I most certainly would never ever regret! A drop in a bucket as my husband always says on our most trying days. Well we commence trying in October this year so who knows if we will have one or multiple but regardless we are in this together. LOVE YOUR BLOG!! Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful news! You got this girl!

  33. Mylène Bélanger

    Félicitation <3

  34. Grace Whyte

    Ahh Congratulations!!!! What an exciting twist, you will do fine!

  35. Amie M

    Wow!!!! A family of six! That is intense! You and Papa Wolf will handle it. You have a great support system in both of your families, and they will step up to make sure you live through it in mostly one piece.

  36. […] this whole pregnancy and labour business on lockdown. Been there, done that, no stress. Finding out we were expecting twins definitely threw me for a […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Welcome to my Wolf Pack!

My name is Lindsay and I am a 40-year-old mama of four trying to live an eco-friendly, budget-friendly life! I am a substitute teacher and Child Passenger Safety technician in Calgary, Alberta. Join me on my adventures!

Wildcard SSL Certificates