The Four Biggest Dangers During Pregnancy

So many warnings. You may as well just stay at home in a little bubble for nine months….

4 Pregnancy Dangers to Avoid at all Costs

1 – The mall.

The receipts are apparently toxic, but you know what I’m worried about? Murphy’s Law. You see, whenever I go to the mall with cash to spend and a list of must-haves, I leave empty handed. I see nothing I like, or nothing fits. When I go to the mall pregnant, all of my favourite stores are having massive liquidations on the most adorable clothes possible: none of which will fit for at least a year, and which could easily be out of style or season when they do. Torture!

2 – All-you-can-eat sushi.

Raw fish, bacteria, blah, blah, blah. The goal of all-you-can-eat sushi is to get the most bang for your buck. You’ve got to beat the system. If it costs $25, you have to eat at least $30 worth of sushi. That means skipping at least one meal before you sit down with your pencil and your order sheet. Skipping a meal while pregnant is guaranteed nausea. And no matter how hungry you are when you sit down, that little monster squishing your stomach is taking up the space that the extra $5 of Dynamite Rolls and Chicken Karaage would otherwise have occupied. Fail.

3 – Winter sports.

Sure, you can fall. But what’s more likely is you’ll pee your pants. If you have to pee every half and hour, and it takes you 15 minutes to suit up to head out to ski, sled or skate…. you do the math. Guaranteed to pee your (snow) pants. Gross.

4 – Kitty litter.

Toxoplasmosis, toxoschmasmosis. Hubby gets to do kitty litter duty not only because you might get sick if you manage to get some of those kitty turds in your mouth, but MOSTLY because you’ll be dealing with your fair share of poop at the end of nine months and any excuse to not have to scoop poop is a good one in my books. Delegate.