Potty training is proving to be a longer and more arduous experience than I had previously imagined. The most consistent thing about our progress is the progressively more ridiculous things I say while we are in the bathroom.
10 Ridiculous Things I’ve Said While Potty Training My Son
1- Make sure your penis is pointing down!
2- Quick! Put out the fire in the toilet with your hose!
3- Are you ready to push your poop out?
4- Was that a toot or are you pooping?
5- Wow, that’s a big one! Mommy’s impressed!
6- Do you want to go poop now so your pee isn’t lonely?
7- Did I just hear a plop?
8- Let’s count how many bubbles your pee made!
9- Don’t worry, I won’t flush it, we can save it to show Papa.
10- Does Batman need to go pee on Dora?**
*He was wearing his Batman mask, and I am not allowed to address him by anything but Batman when he is in costume, and he has a Dora the Explorer potty seat.